Unexplained Love
by SheSaysCiao
Summary: One-shot. Set sometime after Mick leaves. Fabian's upset about it and trying to deal with the loss of his best friend, as well as questioning himself about a few things. Rated T just in case.


**Here's a little one-shot that someone on Tumblr gave me the idea for. For future reference, I _do_ ship Mick and Fabian.**

**I hope you enjoy it!**

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><p><strong>Unexplained Love<strong>

Fabian's POV:

Everyone was happily eating the supper Vera had made us.

Well, everyone except me.

My mind wandered off to the past five years or so. I'd spent almost all my time with Mick; goofing off, doing homework, playing sport… we did almost everything together.

Jerome, Eddie and Mara had left the table, and Nina started talking about going back down into the cellar.

"… So then," she continued, "I figured we could try to test the-"

"Shut up!" I snapped, interrupting her. "Shut up, shut up, SHUT _UP!_"

I flew out of the room like a bat out of Hell, ran down the boys' corridor, and ran into mine and Eddie's room, slamming and locking the door after me.

Plopping down on the edge of my bed, I rested my head in my hands, silent tears trailing down my face. This was the first time I'd really cried in a long time - normally, I never really let out my emotions.

"Mick," I choked through my tears. "Why did you have to go?"

Even though I had kissed Nina at the end-of-term prom last year, and now I was being fought over by her and Joy as if I were a trophy, I didn't have any romantic feelings for either of them, really. The kiss with Nina was more of a spur-of-the-moment thing, and I had harbored feelings for her, we'd tried a relationship and that didn't work out. Joy was a completely different story - she was my best friend. I didn't want to ruin our friendship by complying to her feelings for me that I just couldn't return.

I loved Mick. I loved him more than anything. I was planning on telling him when the time was right, but he was with Mara, and they were so happy together… I couldn't come between that. Even though Mick _was_ my best mate.

When he announced he was leaving, I felt my heart shatter into a million pieces. He and Mara had ended their relationship so he could pursue his dreams. Meanwhile, I didn't find out about his leaving until the day before it actually happened.

I knew he hated goodbyes. I did, too, for that matter. Actually, now that I think of it, I don't know anyone who actually _does_ like saying goodbye.

I was mad at him for not telling me sooner, but I was also mad at myself for not telling him my feelings before he'd left. I don't even know when or how I fell for him - I guess it just happened over time. We shared everything together: Advice, stories, laughs, cries… _everything._

Now that he was gone, I felt like a piece of myself had gone with him. I felt hollow. Like I was just a zombie, going through each day as if life were a broken record and everything continued normally. I felt it was all monotonous.

No one else seemed to notice how upset I was, either. Nina was too freaking obsessed with the damn mystery, Amber was trying to get Nina and I together while driving me away from Joy, Patricia was spending all her free time with Eddie, Jerome and Mara were always off doing who-knew-what, and I wasn't exactly in the mood to pour out my feelings to Alfie.

All I wanted to do was see my best mate again. Maybe _then_ I'd stop being Stutter Rutter and tell him everything: That I loved him, and that I had for a long time. How I loved it when his eyes would aways squint while he smiled. And his hair… everything about him was perfect to me.

I didn't even know what I _was._ Whether I was homosexual, bi… the whole concept made my head ache.

After over an hour of contemplating everything, I finally made the decision to call him. Just to see how he liked Australia.

He picked up his mobile on the third ring. According to how far ahead he was time-wise, I assumed it'd be early morning there.

"Hey, man," he answered. "What's up?"

"Mick!" I exclaimed. "Er, not much." I kept my voice pretty level. "There's a new guy here. He's American."

"Really?" He sounded intrigued. "Is he nice?"

"He's not exactly the best guy to be around."

"That bad, huh?"

"You don't know the half of it. And, he has horrible taste in music." I paused. "So… How's Australia?"

"Other than the occasional kangaroo on the loose, it's almost like back in England. Minus you all, of course."

"I- er, I mean we… we all miss you, mate."

"I know. I miss you all, too." He paused for a few moments. "Especially you."

_What?_ "Huh? Me?"

"I miss you, Fabian," he said. "You're my best mate. We did almost everything together… well, when you weren't hanging out with Nina."

"Yeah, right. Nina," I mumbled.

"Oh. I, um, forgot. I'm sorry your relationship didn't work out."

"It's no big deal." _Really, it's not. She didn't treat me too well, anyway._ "She had a few problems… but it _was_ mutual."

"Yeah, I heard, remember? That morning at breakfast? Amber had mentioned something about you three and Alfie going on another double date."

"Don't remind me," I groaned.

He laughed. "I think I should probably get going, though. It was nice talking to you, Fabian."

"Nice hearing your voice again, Mick." I bit my tongue, keeping myself from telling him I loved him. We hung up, and I stared blankly at my phone.

"I'm an idiot," I muttered, lying down and burying my face in my pillow. "I'm so stupid to believe he'd love me back."

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><p><span>Mick's POV:<span>

I stared blankly at my mobile.

_I wonder if he knows that I've always loved him,_ I thought. _Probably not. But… maybe it's better that way. It's better that he remains clueless._


End file.
